Monday, June 02, 2008


My mom continues to go up and down, but mostly up. She continues to surprise her doctors, which surprises me not at all. Her lung function is greatly diminished and she continues to need oxygen, but she is getting it through a nose tube instead of a mask or respirator. Mom is on chemo, the same as they use for cancer patients, that will hopefully knock out the infection that continues to destroy her lungs--no word yet on how effective that has been.

We went down and had the "End of Life" conversation with regard to what kind of resuscitation and life extending medical care she wants and dealt with all of that. It was actually good because she is so conscious and aware she could make her own decisions about what she wanted and the whole family was there to talk about it. It's good to see my brother and sister-in-law.

A couple of thoughts. First, I thought that conversation would be harder than it was. But Mom is pretty clear on what she wants, and it's actually right in line with what I would want, for me or for her. Second, there was a strong possibility that would be our last conversation together in this life. I was trying to think of what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it when I found myself at a total loss. Not for the reasons many people, I suspect, find themselves at a loss in such situations, but because everything I have ever wanted or needed to say to Mom I have already said. I've told her what I think, what I feel, what I needed, where I disagreed with her and most importantly how much I love her. Enough so that she knows all of these things. So we just sat and talked like we always do, except without the obligatory cup of Lipton's tea, then I said a prayer with her and left.

Thanks again for all of your continued thoughts, prayers, e-mails and encouragement. I told Mom about how many people are keeping her in prayer and thought, and I think she was blown away.

1 comment:

Fishmagic said...

Your posts bring back memories of the last days I spent with my mom, 23 years ago.