Five Things...Number 1

A while ago, my friend Lou Schuler challenged a bunch of bloggers to "Tell Us Five Things We Don't Know About You." Here, the beginnings of my list. Number One: I am very, VERY afraid of clowns. Give me cancer and gettig run over on my bike by a pickup truck any day. It seems so much easier to face than the terror that lies beneath 1/8 inch greasepaint and a painted on smile. Look, if they were really that happy, would they really need to PAINT on a freaking smile?

I recently had yet another terrifying encounter with a series of clowns. I really like changing things up. A lot. Sometimes I change things just for change's sake. One of the places I do that most often is in the background of my computer, altering it to suit my fickle whims.

I wanted something that would make me laugh, so I did a search on Google for "Evil Clowns" and it did not go well. I was going for something funny, but what I found confirmed my absolute worst nightmares: Clowns are out there, and they want to kill me. If they can, they will follow that up with eating me, the way you and I enjoy hot dogs after a sporting event.

Then, I remembered the t-shirt my daughter got me, so I Googled "Fact: Clowns Eat People"...again, this did NOT go very well. It continued for what seemed an eternity, until I finally settled on this one:


Sure, it's just the Intarwebz, and they were just assorted and sundry images that are out there floating around, but I am still putting bells on all the doors and windows tonight, and setting the bear trap at the entrance to my bedroom.