schiz⋅o⋅fran⋅tic /ˌskɪtsəˈfrantic [skit-suh-fran- tic]
1. Psychiatry. Related to dementia praecox, though more often seen in dogs. A severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all, of the following features: extreme tail wagging; running around in circles at a high rate of speed; licking face, hands, legs and toes; utterly losing one's mind, especially when a person you loves comes through the door or down the stairs.
2. a state characterized by the coexistence of contradictory or incompatible elements, especially where the owner is calm and the dog is decidedly not.