Presentation...

So this guy is giving a presentation to elementary school kids about triathlon and was wondering what he should consider. I gave him my top 10 ideas, but I'm not sure how many he'll use:

10. Demo "going" on the bike.

9. Have them crawl along the ground and pummel them with a stick so they can experience a swim start.

8. Bloody nipple shots are a must for the slideshow.

7. Throw a half-empty beer can at one of the kids and then say, "Hurts, huh?" You could also use a hairbrush in a pinch...

6. Have them practice tri-phrases like "On your left!" "How far to the turnaround?" and "I have NO POWAH!!!"

5. Have them do 70.3, then tell them they're halfway there...

4. Give them a booklet on who really owns the road, and have them give it to their parent(s)...

3. Use HTFU at least once in the presentation...

2. Explain road rash. If they don't get it, have the class drag one of the kids around the playground.

1. Wear your Speedo for the entire presentation