Shave the Head, Part II: It is Finished...

Clip away!





Not bad, but it needs to be shorter...





No, seriously. SHORTER!




Better!


Paige puts the finishing touches on...


Holy carp, that's short!

I PWND Usain Bolt!!!!!!!!!!!

CLICK HERE to test yourself...

$2,000--Team Fish ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

Almost? Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young should have joined Team Fish....



So, I'm thinking something like this...

...and this:


And one more admittedly gratuitous shot to increase the female readership of my blog:


So, I am hoping to get it done today or tonight. Pictures, as promised, to follow. Follow the numbers by CLICKING HERE!

Dangerously Close...

I just checked the numbers and it looks like I am getting very close to shaving the head and giving myself The Lance. I promised that at $2,000I would get the high and (relatively) tight haircut. I'd even go so far as to get it all shorn, but as a fair-skinned Irishman, it doesn't seem prudent to ride 100 miles with the vents in the helmet. In August.

That being said: $2,000? Lance's Race. Lance's Hair. Hmmmmm, what should be the next level? With one week left, I think we might still have room.

Check the progress or make a donation by clicking here....

BUTNZ!!!!

One of the great things about LiveSTRONG 2007 was Kurt's BUTNZ!!!! Kurt generously donates the BUTNZ and his time to Team Fish, and I will be eternally greatful to his continued gifts to the team.

As with last year, every contributor to Team Fish gets a BUTNZ! That being said, I'll need your address to mail them out. A lot of you have contributed at sites I frequent and I only know you by your "screen name" so you'll need to PM me there. You can also leave me a message at my e-mail, FishrCutB8@hotmail.com. Let me know your screen name if you found me through a Forum so I know who you are. Put LiveSTRONG BUTNZ in the subject line.

Shaving the Wookie: Part I (A Celebration)

Two years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. I am told that it is a good thing to use this time in reflection, and to do something special to celebrate. What did I do? I went over my initial fundraising goal of $1,000 for the LiveSTRONG Challenge and fulfilled my obligation to you, (not so) gentle readers. That's right, I dethatched the legs for the LiveSTRONG ride next weekend. Following, the promised pictures.

Slightly happy, slightly worried guy gets ready, and lines up the appropriate tools for the Inquisition.



Some before pictures, to show the extent of the medieval forest that is....errrrr....was my legs.





Let the dethatching begin....

Shaving the Wookie Fish -- Part II (Mid-Game)

Okay, so I'm thinking clippers for the first pass must be a good idea. Except, mine are about 800 years old. Not exactly the superpowered clippers you see in beauty salons. Oh, and they're about an inch wide. This is going to take a while.



I've learned that if I go too fast the clippers scratch the heck out of my legs...and pull the hair. If I go too slow, it just takes too long. Finding the right pace takes a while, but time is something I have. I'm 20 minutes in and I haven't even put the clippers down.



You can see the scratches the clippers left on my thigh, here...


Here is the veritable forest that came off my legs in the first pass...nice. I'm already itching.

Shaving the Wookie Fish--Part III (The Hard Stuff)

So I run the tub water and get it nice and warm; running it over my legs makes me feel sooooooo good. The clippers really did a number and my skin is burning at this point.


I break out the shaving soap. I had made up my mind it was go-time, got everything set up, then found out I was out of shave cream. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? There was JUST enough left for my morning shave, which left me with a dilemma: Go out and get more or go with the old-fashioned shaving soap. I decide on...


Apply the soap....


...and apply the razor.



Okay. KNEES and ANKLES! What the carp? Who the heck designed these things? Seriously. There is no way knees, ankles and razor blades should ever be near each other. EVER! This sucks. I am so nervous, I can barely touch the razor to my skin. But, I do, and it goes surprisingly well. I can't believe how much hair is left after the clippers, but the fact my razor keeps getting gunked up shows me just how true this is. Lather and shave the thighs....


...and go over the legs one more time.

Shaving the Wookie -- The Final Result

So, what do they look like? Here you go...




Put a little Captain in them...


These two are not amused...or maybe they are. Who can tell?


Mrs. Fish still hasn't decided whether she likes it, but I think her amusement factor, at the very least, is piqued.

I Suggest a New Strategery....

...shave the Wookie.

Okay. I put up the challenge, yesterday. Help me break $1,000 and I shave my legs. That was yesterday. Today the barrier has been broken. So soon? What was I thinking? I'll get the clippers...the legs are getting shaven. Which, of course, means it's time to UP THE ANTE!!!!

Here's the (new) deal. If I reach $2,000 I will shave my head to the Lance. Lance's ride. Lance's hair. Pictures will, of course, be part of the deal. I love my hair, and have had pretty much the same cut and style for the last 15 years. Meet the goal, out come the clippers, off comes the hair...for reference:

Team Fish Rocks!

Holy Carp!!! Team Fish has already raised nearly $1,000. Are you kidding me? Furthermore, you guys have pledged over $800 in my name...which can mean only one thing: TIME TO UP THE ANTE!!!! If I reach my personal goal of $1,000I shave the legs...and post the pictures here. (Note, if you're squeamish about blood, you might want to skip that one...just sayin').

Furthermore, Team Fish is already at my hoped-for three members. One of the highlights last year was riding with my brother. This year, my friend Kurt heard about it. I'm sure he was thinking about coming to "watch teh event" then curiosity go the better of him and he just pushed all of his chips to the center of the table and declared himself ALL IN....kinda sounds like someone else I know.

And, one last piece of great news. One of my favorite things from last year is back: BUTTONS...or should I say BUTNZ! My other friend Kurt (yes, I have two) is once again designing BUTNZ for Team Fish at the event.

Team Fish is once again coming together. I am at once so incredibly proud and so equally humbled by the spirit and generosity of people.

Fight to Live, Live to Fight

Around 400 BC, there was a culture called the Etruscans, who laid claim to some land that didn't belong to them. You see, the Celts, my people, were living there, and they kind of had a problem with these interlopers. The Celts began harassing the Etruscans, who decided they needed a little help. The Etruscans turned to the Roman Empire for some extra muscle. The Romans joined the fight against the Celts; it must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

What the Romans failed to realize was that my people view battle as a sport. We never really go looking for trouble, but it somehow always seems to find us (at least that's what I always told my mother). Once that line has been crossed, though, we have a habit of coming together and destroying our common enemies without pity, mercy or consideration. The Celts gave Rome and the Etruscans a lesson in ferocity and ass-whupping they never forgot. In the end, the Romans actually paid a tribute to my people be left alone....PLEASE!

Two years ago, cancer picked a fight with me, and I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Regular readers of the Fish-Blog know my story and have been instrumental in my survival. "My people" came together: I was incredibly blessed to have a strong family, an incredible team of doctors and nurses, and a group of friends who supported me in ways I never would have or could have imagined. You visited me, cooked for my family, cut my lawn, delivered care packages, e-mailed me, prayed for me, and supported me in my fight. Importantly, I have learned cancer, and more importantly surviving cancer, is about people coming together.

Last year, we formed Team Fish and went to the LiveSTRONG Challenge, a 100-mile bike ride in Philadelphia, to raise money to fight cancer. It was at once one of the most difficult and most amazing things I have ever done. Difficult because it was about 100 degrees with Pennsylvania's legendary humidity (if it's not hazy, hot, and humid, it's not August). Amazing because of the incredible outpouring of support I received and the people I met along the way. (You can read about it here: Part I | Part II | Part III.

I was the very last person to cross the line of the 2007 LiveSTRONG Challenge. Yet I can still hear the P-A system announcer saying: “NOW CROSSING THE LINE, NUMBER 468, ROBERT DUFFIELD. SURVIVOR!” And I am a survivor. My prayer when I was diagnosed, and the one I say for survivors every day, is for the Courage to fight the disease, the Strength to beat the disease, and the Dignity to do it with Grace.

Last year, my friends and family helped me reach almost $2,000 in fundraising. Most of the gifts were small -- $20.00 and less. You have no idea how quickly that adds up. I had no idea how quickly that adds up. Along with that, my friend Kurt made BUTTUNZ! to pass out along the route. Mrs. Fish and Little Fish made shirts for the people who came out to support me so I could see them in the crowd. In short, I was humbled by the spirit and generosity of people.

All that to say, if you're in a place where you can offer a gift, and you want to join me in my fight, I would appreciate it beyond words. Also, if you have someone for whom you want me to ride, either in their honor or in their memory, you can tell me their story in the comments area. Last year, I had the honor of riding for a lot of people who were very special to my supporters, and their spirit bore me up in amazing ways. I think it's important to know their stories.

My homepage for the Challenge can be found by CLICKING HERE.

Thanks again for everything...oh, and if you're in Philadelphia and you want to join my team, you can do it by CLICKING HERE.

Wanna Fight?

Guest Blogger...Little Fish Takes the Bike Quiz

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be? A Schwinn because I like Schwinns.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not? Because it's a lot of money. I have a Schwinn, but I want a lowrider Schwinn that's teal.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why? Alaska.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded? No. I have a mountain bike.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent. No. But I would ride one.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss? No, I don't think I have. But, I did ride one designed by Big FishrCutB8 (aka Daddy-O).

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why? I hate to say it, but bicycles because I'm always falling off. You can't fall off ice cream!

If you could race anyone in a mountain bike race, who would it be? My nemesis, KT.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do? Act like I'm dead.......I think.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it: How many times do you estimate have you fallen off your bike? At least ten.

Check this out...

My friend Qaiser posted this somewhere a while ago and I am just catching up on some things I was amazed by. The cinematography in this is absolutely beautiful, I think. CLICK HERE to see the flix.

The Bike Quiz...

So, Alaska Jill posted this quiz, and I thought it would be fun.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be? Jeez. That's so hard, because I would want something that could do it all--climb like a goat, descend like a missile, track like a something-that-tracks-really-well. And, it would have to be on-road-off-road-roadie-tri compatible. I'm not sure what that bike is. I think for all around good looks, character and general awesomeness, I might just want a red Bottecchia. Still, I can't help but feel that narrowing it down to one makes Sophie's Choice look easy...

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not? Sure, it would be nice to have a "nicer" bike, but honestly, I'd rather spend time in the saddle. I'd rather have more time than a better bike. It's not the bike that holds me back, it's the engine.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why? I think it would be a section of the Pacific Coast Highway. The sea has always called to me, but I also like riding in hills and near trees. The PCH offers a little of everything, and not too much of one thing. Of course, I'd have it closed to traffic while I rode...

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded? I'm not narrow-minded, I'm narrow-walleted. If I could afford all the bikes I wanted, I'd still be narrow walleted...and probably still coveting even more bikes. I have learned to be (relatively) content with what I have.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent. Ummmm...no, I have not ridden one. There's a book about fly fishing by John Geirach, in which he recounts his adventures with his best friend, A.K. Best. At one point, A.K. asks John if he would fish if he couldn't get great rods, reels and gear, the things that make it such a graceful and beautiful sport. John replies that he would not. A.K. goes on to say that's the difference between them. Basically, if it came to it, A.K. would be out there with a gigging spear and a shiv fashioned from a prison spoon, looking for a way to land a trout. I think I'm more like A.K. I'd ride the recumbent, because I love the feeling of moving, not just because I am in love with the idea of high-tech gear.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss? Listen. This question is beyond stupid. Yes, I have tried a triathlon--several in fact. I do it to compete, against myself more than other people. The notion that there is some sort of mental defect with triathletes is absurd. I have mental defects. I am a triathlete. But, the two are mutually exclusive.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why? Ice cream. If I have to explain why, you would never understand.

If you could race anyone in a mountain bike race, who would it be? My brother. Not because I think i could beat him (though I could) but because I think it would be fun.

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do? I would get off my bike and attack--LIKE THIS!!! Or, I'd say a prayer, I suppose, and Slllllllllloooooooooowlllllllly pedal the other direction. This little PSA is filled with helpful tidbits as well...

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.

If you could get one other person to love biking as much as you, who would it be?My daughter, Little Fish.

Okay, now it's your turn to answer...

Mom's Home

As we suspected, nothing major with regard to the infection. The doctors diagnosed it as C Difficile, which is fairly serious (sometimes fatal) infection, often picked up by people in hospitals and nursing homes. The doctors caught it early enough that treatment was pretty easy: fluids, rest, and a change in medication.

Thanks again for your kind thoughts and prayers. It's been a difficult time, and continues to be challenging for my dad.

Mom is Back in the Hospital

She has an infection she picked up at the rehab facility. It doesn't appear too serious, but prayers are, of course, appreciated.

Running in New Jersey

There is just something about running in New Jersey. I don't know quite what it is. The omnipresent sounds of the highway? I'm not sure that's it--I live within a relative stone's throw of the busiest (and consequently deadliest) section of Interstate 81 in America, and the truck traffic alone is enough to wake the dead. You're aware of it, but after a while it just becomes white noise.

New Jersey, in spite of being the most densely populated state in America, is surprisingly verdant. There's an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Frank is trying to discuss, "Who invented the lawn?" I suspect it was someone from New Jersey. I liked seeing the manicured lawns, but the trees are always striking. People in my parents' neighborhood have a LOT of trees, and they're beautiful.

The smell is certainly unique; it's a not-altogether-unpleasant mixture of diesel and compost. There were a lot of gardens and flowers along my run, but they were simply overpowered by the odors of the morning. In an interesting and noteworthy side note, my high school was literally across the street from a landfill. A fairly sizable one. And the school had no air conditioning. So in those May and June days when the mercury would climb, the stench would begin. I never really got used to it, but I learned to deal with it. We would hold track practice in that environment every day. We used to run, jump and throw in the shadow of a veritable Landfill of Mordor, but the real fun began when the visiting team would show up. Home field advantage was never so deliciously not delicious. More than once I saw kids walk off the bus and actually get physically sick from the smell. There was a kid Roscoe from Burlington City who once asked, "How do you guys deal with the smell?" I looked at him and gamely replied with a total deadpan, "What smell?"

There's an often overused saying, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". In New Jersey, it's usually both. Jersey gets that combination of 100+ degree days (think bordering-on-Southwest hot) with 90+ percent humidity (think walking-and-trying-to-breathe-in-soup humid). You can walk out your front door and be drenched by the time you get to your car. It's like the Mississippi Delta of the north.

I think the thing about running in Jersey is that it's just such a complete visceral experience. The state provides an all-out assault on the senses unlike any other. At the end of my run, I felt like I had really accomplished something in finishing it...though I'm not really sure what. Which is kind of like New Jersey, too.

Nini Fish is Finally Home

She came home yesterday. She is still very tired, but is sooooooooo enjoying her time with her granddaughter. Mrs. Fish and I are just here for the manual labor part (joke). Actually, I am at my parents' house, trying t help my mom get settled from her return from the hospital and helping my dad get settled from my mom returning from the hospital. Yesterday, BrotherFish helped my dad get the garage squared away and put shelves and cabinets up to help him get organized.

I was in charge of mulch. I weeded some of the beds and got the much dispersed. Frequent visitors to my workout log will look at it and say, "That's it? What the heck took you three hours to do?" Suffice it to say...there was a lot of mulch. My mom likes mulch. Little Fish spent most of the day with Nini, talking to her and showing her how to do cool things, like surf the Intarwebz...and go shopping on the Intarwebz. I'm not sure how the conversation went, but I suspect it was something like this.
"Hey Nini," said Little Fish. "You need some new clothes because you lost weight. Wanna go on the Internet and shop?"
"You can do that?"
"Sure Nini. It's fun...let me show you how."
Click-click, tap-tap, click tap....
"We can start at Overstock, Nini....or, we could start at Justice..."

I'm not exactly sure how it went, but Nini got Little Fish her First-day-of-school Outfit online. I'm pretty sure that might be Nini's first online purchase...

So Mom is still very week, but I think glad to be home. Thanks again, dear readers, for your thoughts and prayers.

Nini Fish...

....is going home this weekend. My mom has received her release notice, so it's off to JOISEY to move her in, get the house cleaned up and probably set out nine hundred pounds of mulch. Nini Fish likes mulch, apparently.

My Bachelorhood...

..is officially over, with the return of Mrs. Fish and Little Fish last night. They had a great time, but still not great enough to make Mrs. Fish love camping. Let's face, some things are just not meant to happen. Huge ups to Mrs. Fish for trying it, though.

I skipped my workout to dine at our local Italian restaurant, eating copious amounts of buttered pasta and a fine slab of salmon, stuffed with seafood.

Pretty cool, I Thought....

Finally...

....someone who understands my Monday morning existential ennui.

The Bachelor

So, Mrs. Fish and Little Fish took off on a camping adventure with the moms and daughters from the neighborhood. We had company this weekend, in the form of old friends and their two young daughters. So I went from the mayhem and noise of four adults and three girls under age 10 to total aloneness. Sweet, blessed silence.

I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do with my first afternoon alone, but decided to go for a bike ride. I ended up riding out to Boiling Springs, about 20 miles from here. It was tough, and i couldn't find my legs the first fifteen miles, which was unusual. No matter what i did, they were just dead. Then, all of a sudden, I felt that old familiar zing return, the turning got easier and I was off. It was about 95 degrees and super-humid when I started, so that may have had something to do with it.

Today's wildlife extravaganza? Whistle-pigs, teh ubiquitous bunniez, and I almost hit a goat. yes. A goat. It was standing in the middle of the road, just over the crest of a hill. Bad place for a goat. And for the woman trying to corral said goat. i should have gone matal cowboy on him and rounded him up. But then I lloked to the north and saw storm clouds on the horizon.

The storm rolled in really quickly, as they often do in this region, and I got caught in a downpour the last 10 miles. It was cold, wet, rainy and rather miserable. I was on backroads at that point, so I wasn't too worried, and I had a yellow shirt on, so that helped lots. People were very cool--I think they felt bad for the poor sod on the bike in the rain.

I came home, dried my bike off, got a nice hot shower, made myself some leftover pasta and settled down to write, and to get organized for tomorrow. A banner day, I must confess, though I do miss my family. I think it's good to miss them, though...

Confirmation
My mom is going home on the 28th of this month! The doctors said her progress is such that she is ready to transition out. I'm not sure my dad is ready, but here she comes! Thanks again to all of you who have kept her close to your hearts in prayer.

The New Gig....

So I got a new job. The Idearc job was absolutely killing me: 70-80 hours a week, not seeing my family, grouchy and sleep-deprived all the time. In eight months I was number one in the Harrisburg office and number 11 in the Mid-Atlantic region (out of about 200), qualified for a trip to the Bahamas all-expenses-paid...and I was miserable. I went home and told Mrs. Fish I was thinking about quitting my job. She said, "Good. We'd like to have you back."

I remember working one Sunday and a guy came up to me in the office and said, "Don't miss it."
"Huh?"
"Your family. Your daughter. She's only young once. Don't miss it."
"Yeah."


So now I work for Acsys, Incorporated as a Business Development Consultant. They're a headhunting...errrr....Recruiting Firm, specializing in the placement of financial professionals. I go out to local companies and find ones that need help, and who are willing to pay a fee to get good help. My territory ranges from York to Chambersburg to Harrisburg, so all of my travel is local. It's a harder sell than Yellow Pages and Superpages.com, but I enjoy the pace, the clients and the people I work with a great deal! It's been a good outfit, and continues to be a fun time. Now, I realize I am still in the honeymoon phase, but as i look around me I still see people enjoying themselves, which is a good thing. I think I am going to be happy here and can see myself making a long career of this. What took me so long?

My better...

...is going to be better...

I Think I Have a New Favorite Site....

The baking in the CAKE WRECKS BLOG is just beyond description. Yet, the descriptions are what make the site. From funereal baby shower cakes to leaning, sloppy gloppy messes; from the little spelling mistakes to the quite unexplainable, this site is simply a gem of baking deliciosity. Enjoy. And save me a slice...

On second thought, maybe not....

Mom May be Getting Out

My mother has been doing really well with her exercises in the rehabilitation facility. I spoke with my father and he said the doctors had a meeting with him. They said, given her current progress and how Mom has been working that they are looking at release dates. She could be out and GOING HOME as early as July 28th. Crazy-cool! Go Mom!

Humid iPod Run

I went for a run last night, and it was a soupy mess out there. I usually don't run with an iPod, but there are times when I do; I just hit shuffle and go. This was going to be a short little slow hobble of a run, so I thought, "Why not?"

I got going and the music kicked in. Sometimes I just get a fun slew of songs to run to, and this was one of those times. I know, I know, you can set up playlists that mirror the mood of the run. I enjoy the serendipity of the mix.

So, here's a couple that made the run a little faster last night.

Addiction...

Visit...

We went to visit my mother this weekend and she looked GREAT! She got a haircut and colored her normally light color hair a dark brunette--kind of sassy, I think. She is pretty much confined to a wheelchair except for her therapy. We went for a walk/roll and talked for a long time and played some hangman with the family. I could not believe my mother had never played hangman. How do you get to that age and live in America and never play hangman? Still, she picked it up as quickly as any kid and we had lots of fun.

The facility seems very nice and Mom is already making friends, as much with the staff as with the residents. Her roommate situation is not so good, but that is actually scheduled to change this week...my mom is hoping for a window seat. I am too. The doctors continue to be amazed by her progress. I am simply thankful, and count myself fortunate I know Whom to thank.

Small Miracles
We were talking this weekend at my men's group about how God is capable of great things, but that He is just as reliable in small things. Last night my wife was tearing apart her closet, ripping the room apart in a search for some clothing she had recently purchased, but had lost. She had been looking for it for about two weeks. She had searched everywhere, but was now making a really, truly, dog-gone, concerted effort to really, reallly, REALLY find it. I just said a quick prayer to ask God to help her in her quest and went to get in the shower. As I was stepping in, I heard my wife's voice shout out, "FOUND IT!!!!"

I just smiled...probably just a coincidence, right?

Judge Judy...

Normally, I am not a big fan of JJ. This time, however, she is dead on.

Mom is OUT OF THE HOSPITAL!!!

My mom is now out of the hospital! She entered a Physical Therapy and Rehabilitation Center on Sunday. She said her goal is to be out of there in three months. She just keeps plugging along and getting better, astounding her doctors at every step of the way. Coupling her fighting spirit with the huge contingent of people praying for her I don't see how any other result was possible.